This Sucks.Com

Dear Readers

I have not made it a secret about how I feel leaving Singapore for the Huffer "estate" in rural Augusta County. It has been an absolute blast living here where there were people, stores, trips, and many adventures every day. Most of them good. I go back and forth on my feelings. At the moment a "child" is running upstairs-jumping, squealing, in general making a ruckus from early in the morning to late at night. The parents are up to the wee hours slamming doors to the closets. That I won't miss. But the question I struggle with is what to do with the rest of my life.

Most of my friends work. I did too but that ship has sailed. I am in too much pain to consider it. I understand that there are no jobs for most people. Everything now is service jobs. I am looking at volunteering. There is always a need for free help but gasoline prices may effect that. I have to drive far to reach civilization where I live. Nothing remains the same and I feel the US economy is worse than when I left two years ago.

Ihave told my husband that my new password will be "This Sucks" for all my accounts. For those with longer characters, "This Sucks Even More." He said that my attitude needs improving. We can't stay. It isn't fair to the people who have been taking care of our house, our bills, our problems in the States. We have older parents dependent on us. We must take up our obligations. I know all this. Sometimes you wonder what it would be like to be free to follow your heart without all the baggage that acompanies our lives. But you have to make choices and they have consequences.

So we are making arrangements to leave. I am doing things for the last time. We went to the Asian Civilizations museum to see the terracotta soldiers. Too few but I did enjoy the exhibition. Then we found a place that served American pizza in the local mall. We dropped in my favorite art place and the woman wanted to sell me a couple of paintings for only $21,000. They think all Westerners are rich so I try to play the part. Sure, that would look great in my living room!

We are scheduled to fly to China on August 2nd (Happy Birthday Beth!) Last Steve was in the hospital to celebrate that date. Cambodia wasn't that wonderful. I have been reading a story in the paper about how the bottled water in China is tainted-not just the food. So now I wonder if we should bring our own! Is nothing sacred? Just like last year, our medical insurance runs out August 1st and so far we've not heard a word from the company. We will be flying to Shanghair for a night, leave on the high speed train to Beijing to the Marriott. We will be seeing the Forbidden Palace, Summer Palace, and Great Wall. Then take the train back to Shanghai where Steve will be working for a week. I will be touring the People's Museum again and probably the art museums. That's the plan, anyway. After that, it's all downhill. Just a week and a half before I fly back for good. That sucks. But we will do it. I am already packing . . .