The Rain in Singapore Falls Mainly on the Plain

Dear Readers,

I am trapped in a foreign land for an unspecified amount of time. Since it has been raining almost every day and sometimes for the entire day, I have plenty of time to do nothing. Nothing leads to thinking and so my children thought I should blog to relieve some of the boredom. They also think I tell funny stories. But I say life is just that way. Humor is everywhere, just like tragedy.
I prefer to laugh.

I am 51 years old and enjoy a variety of illnesses-fibromyagia, heart problems, sciatiac pain in the legs, and now menopause. Currently I am going through a rash of heat flashes that strike day and night. This leads me to suddenly and without warning strip off all my clothes and parade around the apartment naked. "Stay away from the windows!" my husband yells. I doubt that anyone can see up this far and would take the time to peer inside my specific window to see me naked while driving down a main road. A part of me would like to think they would, that I am still worth looking at. Ha! I have received no complaints, however, from the management.

I thought Singapore was the land of the rising sun. No, that's Japan. The sun hasn't come here for awhile. It continues to rain. Although beautiful, I am hoping for more sun. See, I have a tan I must maintain. Oddly enough, tans are not wanted here in this society. Asians view tans as a sign of lower class. Only people with the lowest status have to work outside and thus sport a tan. They spend millions on whitening cream. So I am enjoying my low status as I do as little work as possible.

I also enjoy reading about how strict things are here. But I say a little strictness is needed in this world. So what if gum is outlawed. To compensate, there's a restaurant on every corner. Fill your mouth with food! So what if you're not allowed to litter. Don't you have better things to do with your time? Jay walking? It's dangerous. You could get hurt. I like the strictness. It gives order to society. Crime? Seems only foreigners commit crimes here-like littering, jay walking, and bringing in that awful gum. I even observed an individual spitting on the sidewalk. That carries a fine too. Where was the undercover policeman when I saw that? Instead I gave the man a stern frown. I am sure he was ashamed of his actions.

I have recently been on a quest to find chicken noodle soup. Once abundant in this land of plenty, it has now disappeared completely. I have searched several grocery stores for this staple of life and have come up empty. I have discovered lots of other things while looking-curry soup, potato and leek soup in a can, and bento box lunches for carry out. It occured to me that I could make my own from scratch. Other people do it. But then, when would I maintain my tan? Got to go.